After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
