I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
