He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
