Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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