We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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