In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
