Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
