Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
