Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
