a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
