fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
