That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
