Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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