No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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