So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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