i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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