there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
