I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
