Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Randomize
