and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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