A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
