Your dad touched me again.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
