your parents love me but you hate me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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