He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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