WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
