Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
