I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
