I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
