Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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