I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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