guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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