You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
All the doctor said was why
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize