I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
