Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize