So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
