Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
