I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
