it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
