her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think a kid would responsible me up
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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