I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
