david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
