i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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