Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
