Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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