so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
