It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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