My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
