I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
