its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize