yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
