but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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