why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
