if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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