He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i came on her dog
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
