I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
