you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
