Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
