So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
