New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Someone came in the potted fern
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize