i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
