i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
