so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
