kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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