you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
