Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
