You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This toilet bowl is my home.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
