Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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