I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
