There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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