I CAN MOONWALK!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
