not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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