I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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