Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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