I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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