Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
