Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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