Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
