Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize